written around 1993

My great grandmother helped start the first Pentecostal Church in Lubbock, TX, where I was born. As a young boy, I was initially amazed and fearful of some of the older people's behavior spending many nights watching them as they spoke in tongues while the rest of the people waved their hands in worship and the band played from the pulpit in the Pentecostal Church. I remember once being taken outside for the rest of the service. While still fearful, an adult tried to explain, to ease our ruffled feathers.

 At seven, I was baptized at the 25th ST. Baptist Church in Lubbock. I remember my dad saying that I didn't know what I was doing, (getting baptized). My mom didn't believe *everything* that any one church taught and was at odds with exactly what to do as concerned her young and what to teach. Finally, after talks with the Avon lady, my mom decided to teach us about God herself until she found a church that believed more of what she believed. She used to gather us in her bed on Sundays and read bible stories. My dad would read the paper, barely out of sight, but within listening distance. What a wonderful picture of life.

My family moved to Dallas the day before school started my senior year. I had plenty of distraction for several years, having moved from a country town setting. I started dabbling in music and was afforded an opportunity to express feelings I didn't know I had, therefore leaving room for new feelings and thoughts I was also unsuspecting of. I began to take up my search for God again. I started in the bible, right where I left off as a kid.

 As time went on, I was hungry for answers and frustrated with "a house divided". I felt that we all must be worshiping the same God, so I wanted to know of all perceptions of God known. For surely he is beyond what we can imagine. I read a book about the dead sea scrolls, then eastern philosophy and Edgar Cacey, among others. I started to build on a personal relationship with God again, and experience feelings of purpose and individual attention.

 My wife (girlfriend at the time) found The Urantia Book about the time Snow Mass was going on, about July 1989. I was completely awe-struck by this two-thousand page book. My prayers for clear-cut information about this universe had been answered. I had been waiting for this information all my life. In particular, since the end of '84 when I vowed to the Father to write my music with him in mind. (By the way, I'm a professional musical artist, musician and songwriter.)

 I spent approximately 25 hours a week in this new and wonderful book for the first six months or so, and continue to re-read it. My wife, being the very resourceful person that she is, immediately contacted a study group in the Dallas area and we began to attend weekly. This went on for a few years, except for a month here and there when we became distracted.

 Finally in my life, an affirmation of the feelings I had felt! My connection with creativity was affirmed. The channels of creativity were made clear and reassuring. My purpose as an artist made perfect sense as I had suspected. The revelations were astonishing, and life became "animated" in my experience of watching it work out. This book contained everything I'd been looking for and so much more that I didn't even suspect.

The Urantia Book integrated science, religion, and philosophy, helping to expand my personal relationship with the Father in ways that I couldn't even imagine before. It helped me to understand more about the design of the universe, and let go of much superstition. This caused a more responsive knowingness in my heart for truth. It allowed me to better use the keys of sincerity, in understanding myself and my relation to the environment. It gave me a clear knowledge of facts to apply to the ruthlessly practical demands of everyday life. It helped me to see order, and to unify my experience.

 The 776 page account of Jesus's life left me in tears many nights as I began to view Him with a greater depth, reverence, and understanding of his teachings, while observing the almost day-to-day record of his life. My faith, as well as intellect grew daily. Inspiration became even more readily available. Life began to make sense. Truly, I became more attuned to the reality of the Father's love. What could ever improve on this?

 Upon returning to the study group (following a short absence in attendance), I heard someone speak of a celestial teacher named Welmeck. I was later told that a few people in the group were meeting on another night of the week to study transcripts from these supposedly "unseen teachers." I discarded this in my mind and went about my business.

 After a while, I was given some audio tapes of these "celestial teachers," one in particular in which a celestial artisan conducted an exercise using music in preparation of stillness. Being a professional musician, I knew of this experience and the effect of this exercise because I had been experiencing it for years. The bells of truth begin to ring. I listened to the rest of the tapes and spent alot of time in thought asking for the Father's assistance. I could no longer deny the attention given to me in this responsive universe of love and wonderment.

 Upon acquiring all the transcripts I could get my hands on, and attending the "Teaching Mission" meetings and UB study group meetings, I began to read and study. (Incidentally, most all of the regular UB study group members were now in attendance at the TM meetings.) We had put in a request, although did not have audible group teacher contact at this time. So, we studied the transcripts in our possession, mostly two teachers named Welmeck and Will among others.

The group became, in my eyes, more personable and loving; less judgmental. After three or four months went by, if I recall correctly, we gained teacher contact. The feeling was real but the content was sometimes not what I'd expected, particularly compared to other transcripts I'd read. I had private sessions with the only TR in the group, probably one of the most courageous people I know, and still was not satisfied with the content completely. I must have had some degree of contact myself because I new somehow the teachers were real. I then began to develop contact on my own.

 Never before had I practiced the "stillness" to the extent that I was now achieving. Soon we were told that we all were getting personal teachers. The group dynamics were exciting and often tense forcing us the confront issues and learn the hard way how to work out whatever was encouraging progress.

 Then we heard of an upcoming Naperville event, encompassing all involved in the teaching mission. Rhonda and I did not have the money for this journey, but it seemed to materialize out of nowhere thanks to a kind and responsive heart who foot the bill. So ten of us traveled on a train and two by plane to this suburb of Chicago.

 Arriving there, we were greeted with love, and made our way to the hotel. We had left the previous day about 4PM. Being a day sleeper, I had not had any sleep. It was about 5:30 PM. I caught a nap and attended the opening speech. It was given by a licensed Psychologist and Ph.D. from Calf.  It was wonderful!

 The next morning we set the alarm clock for 7:30 A.M. That was not too much later than the time I would normally go to bed. I woke up rather grumpy, still drowsy from the sleeping pills I'd taken the night before. While Rhonda was in the shower, I decided to meditate. I barely got my eyes closed when I got this rush of energy. It was amazing. I was bouncing off the walls when Rhonda reminded me that our teachers suggested that we stay calm.

 After breakfast, I took a seat near the piano in the lobby to smoke a cigarette. I thought about playing the piano and decided I was too nervous and excited. So I went up to the room to meditate and again was blown away with the energy I felt. I had the thought to play the piano. And again, I discarded it. The lady I rode down the elevator down with said she had hardly slept, being sensitive to the energy. As soon as I walked around the corner from the elevator, one of our group members asked me if I would play the piano.

 It was as if a little light went off over my head, and then I became aware I was being urged to play by celestial friends. I began to play with an ease I had only felt alone. I am, by profession, a bassist and had only used the piano to write with. Never before had I played the piano for such a large group of people. I felt very much appreciated and was later complimented.

 After playing a half an hour or so, someone came up to me who happened to be waiting in the hotel with friends. He was from a production company or something "apart" from the TM group. He said he was a musician and wanted to know what turnarounds I was playing. He said that it had affected him in the most soothing way and that he could not pass up the opportunity to ask. And then, almost in mid-sentence, he said he felt he had been lead here to speak to me and he didn't know why. It was more than just the music. This was a familiar circumstance with me as it has happened countless times, it seems, through the past few years. I told him I understood his feeling and gave him information about the Urantia Book. He was excited to have this new information. He took my name and number.

 Soon it was time for the main event. The entire ballroom was full of people. We were asked to manipulate energy in specific directions. Again I was blown away. I could actually hear energy. It sounded like a cross between a train and the wind. The feeling of it was intense, moving literally around the room. I was told it was designed to raise our vibrational level and that a new spirit was also poured down upon us; a spirit of liberation. It was quite moving.

 Later that night Rhonda and I went out to a Chicago blues club with two other couples and had a great time.  I've never in my life been around so many unconditionally loving people as was the experience at this conference.  The bond was telepathic, it seemed.  It was the largest, most beautiful group of people I've ever experienced.

 Before continuing, I feel it necessary to clarify designations assigned to certain word symbols and/or phrases already used and/or to be used. The unseen teachers I speak of are mostly ascendant mortals from other worlds, sent here to teach and learn. Michael (Jesus) is our creator. Existing within us is a pre-personal fragment of Deity (The Thought Adjuster). TR means transmitter/receiver, the person receiving messages from the celestials and transmitting verbally the communication.

 We had been told on the train ride to Chicago that each of us had already been assigned a personal teacher. On the way back, I asked a very gifted transmitter (TR), from Norman, Oklahoma, to transmit my personal teacher in a private session. She graciously agreed. This was an event that changed my life. My wife, myself, the TR -- and one other person from Norman -- crowded in a train bunk. We went into silence and then the TR said a prayer. As soon as she started transmitting, it became apparent to me that this wonderful unseen teacher had complete access to my thought patterns as well as memory.

 I could ask a question in my mind without verbally sounding anything, and the TR could transmit the teacher's loving answer. It was as if there was some sort of mind-meld happening.  I could physically feel the output of the teacher's signal resonating through me.  In fact, it was a familiar feeling.  Now I knew what it was.  During the session -- you know when someone is talks to you, saying something profound, and you start thinking about something they said and developing your own train of thought, while the other person continues to speak? -- When I would start a train of thought about something the teacher said, he would pause until I finished my train of thought before continuing to speak.

 This wonderful teacher knew me better than I knew myself.  He knew I wanted firm, matter of fact answers, and he could give them in such a way that only emitted love.  He was so completely non-judgmental and loving.  Knowing my life the way he did, he could easily explain some things to me concerning previous experiences I'd had.  It brought me clarity and affirmation.  Most of all -- finally in my life -- I felt someone truly understood me.  I couldn't have dreamed anything this beautiful.  The clear fact that this was real was overwhelming.

 When guiding me in understanding our relationship, he spoke metaphorically and with an almost poetic quality. Listen to this: "So that I may better reach into your thought processes, I bring to you a flower.  Hold and balance this flower in the palm of your extended hand.  It shimmers and rises with the heat of your loving nature, which is projected to the universe.  We perceive a very direct contact with this loving energy which you exude and wish to comfort you in the knowledge of our perception of this.  The flower which I have picked, if you will, resonates with your love.  It is met by your love, it blossoms by the same energy.  It is a flower of your personal choice.  You decide on its color, its beauty, its size."

 At one point, I was being hard on myself.  In my mind I was thinking I shouldn't do this or that.  I was basically criticizing myself, when he responded, "When one participates in life at an operational level, there is much calculating that may occur.  And I am predisposed to inform you of the specific example which may help facilitate change.  When once I was in a similar predicament, I chose at that time to pursue God's faith in me.  I followed the path which led me to find the truth of God's spirit within and further chose to believe in the Father's ultimate acceptance for me as a creation of his universe.  Until this occurred, however, I followed a path which created for me many obstacles.  I perceive you creating a similar path.  I cannot choose for you; however, I may enlighten you to the choices which you have before you.  Release, for a moment, the concerns which you hold in your thoughts."

 "Now I request that you join with me in a simple, prayerful moment in which we pray together, asking for Michael's (Jesus's) assistance in this matter.  I lead you in prayer at this time."

 "Michael, in Heaven and on Earth, we pray together for your assistance in leading my fellow loved one in order that he may discover his true path to enlightenment.  He requests your help for he truly believes in your power and encourages faith in himself and in others.  I join in prayer with this loved one so that his path may be eased in order that he may find joy and love in your holy presence.  Amen."

 I was so blown away, I couldn't even think of questions to ask.  Rhonda then reminded me to ask about music.  He replied, "When one explores the fortitudes incorporated in the production of musical insight, we all belong to a similar belief.  The production of such beauty is incomprehensible, and we find joyous revelation in your ability to produce such extraordinary sounds for our ears to behold.

 When, in the production of such heart-felt music, you feel some timidity around the expressional aspects, you may find resolution by searching inwardly, deeply, into your own spirit-led self to discover a true vision of what it is you believe is potentially available for you.
If this is not clear, may I paint a picture for you?"

 Mark: "Yes."

 John: "Imagine, if you will, how it feels for you to be at the most heightened level of musical expression you may have experienced. Take this precious moment -- this music, spirit, love-filled inspirational moment -- and hold it in your memory while I speak to you of the creation of God's love in particular. Know in your heart what is truly possible is coming --(Interruption) [The train conductor came by at this time. Interestingly enough, John asked me to remind him when the image was clear although he had access to my thoughts. I got the feeling he wanted to gauge my feelings of this inspirational moment.]
When this image is clear for you, please consider reminding me so that I may continue."

 Mark: "Okay."

 John: "Good. I am pleased that you are there so quickly.  This is indeed a signal of your readiness.
Proceed now to a similar vision; however, this time I wish for you to image a golden ray of light which emanates from a cloudburst that exists far up in the heavens, far away, yet the golden burst of light shines directly into your being.
You are worthy of this light, my son.  Open yourself readily, open yourself fully in this moment.  Precisely feel the connection." [during this, I had feelings far too deep for words]

 "Harmonious in nature, it is absolute, 100 percent perfection.  It lifts you off the ground so that you are weightless in its light. You are resonating with a frequency which reminds you of the most extraordinary tone, a tone which resonates with your inner most, spirit-filled being."

 "This resonating tone then is expressed in a myriad of violet displays of light.  It radiates out through your consciousness and reaches into your groundedness. Reflecting from the spirit, it increases in vibrational intensity and use of color expands as it emanates from your source. These bands of color resonate in various melodies which create in tonal [internal? Tape was unclear] fusion that creates ecstasy for all ears to listen and turn their attention to the glory-filled mirror which brings to them great pleasure and peace, so that as they perceive the messages which are being sent from your spirit-led self, they continue to open and search for God's love within themselves as well, which thus creates a resonating pattern within themselves and so on as they pass on the gifts of your spirit-filled music."

 "You are continually filled by the extraordinary beam of light which flows from the heavens.  Enlighten yourself to this possibility, for it is created within yourself.  Enlighten yourself to the possibility of God's glory, for it is within your potential.  You are a perfect creation of God's universe, and rest well in your intentions to provide for the Father a most perfect creation.
Hold this image as you may in your heart.  Follow my intent that you may see for your own best interests this potential.  I am pleased to be in partnership with such great potential, happy to be with you."

 I was so humble, happy and excited after that session there were only two things important in life; communion with the Father and service to my fellow man.  I was so up, there was no way I could sleep the rest of the train ride even though there was another 14 hrs. or so to go.  I told everyone from the group who chanced to wake, of my experience.

 For about 3 weeks after that experience I had constant contact with John.  Life was completely new and exciting with my new found celestial contact.  My meditation was now about an hour and a half long each day, usually twice a day. I begin to transmit my teacher, our group teachers, Machiventa Melchizedek, and later on, even Michael.  These sessions were a profound experience for me and other's in the group.  I also did some private sessions for a couple of people.

 The teachers could basically share my conciousness and input thought patterns in my mind for me to then say out loud.  It was a very trying, and at the same time, healing experience to transmit.  It caused me to search deep in my heart for the honest truth. There was nowhere to hide now, only open-ness and truth.  Through effort and out of confusion came clarity, at least for a while.  As time went on I began to fall back into old thought patterns and loose the sharpness of contact that I had felt before.

 Soon we decided to go to Norman, Oklahoma, to visit our new friends that we had met on the train.  Remember, one of these new friends transmitted John, my teacher, on the train ride back from Chicago.

 Five of us from the Dallas group made it to Norman late one night.  I felt a kindred love and a new connection anticipating another session with this admired TR-- to be able to hear John clearly again.  I remember going out in the front yard that night and looking to the stars and thanking the Father.

 I believe it was the next morning we all decided to meditate together.  In the middle of meditation, suddenly my friend started to transmit.  She had never transmitted before, but she did a wonderful job.  The teachers thanked us for following their urgings to come to Norman.  This was news to us, we thought it had been our idea.

 Eventually, that afternoon I got the chance to have another session.  When we started the session, I said casually, "You know what's going on in my life and I'm sure you know what to share."  He addressed every concern and problem with complete tact and love.  Here are some highlights.

 "I enlighten your burdens and ask that you receive me without doubt of comprehension.  Now, whether to the left or to the right makes no difference, for your path has truly been chosen by you.  Now you see the twinkling of the stars and know that truth lies within your very own heart."

 "Dearest one, indeed, the pleasures you have discovered in the stillness incorporate the usage of channels that facilitate the agreement between your mind reception and the output of my signal towards your center.  When you discover that you are off your center, it is difficult but not impossible to regain contact.  Wavering slightly is admissible, for you have just begun and soon you may discover that contact can be reached in ordinary ways such as driving or walking down the street, watching TV or through listening to music, talking on the telephone.  Then contact may be purposeful and continuous without need for deliberate sitting in the stillness practice.  However, I will say to you as well that stillness is vital to reception on an ongoing basis; so do not tire of this method, for it is foundation work required to facilitate the ongoing communication in your everyday, eventful life."

 Mark: "When we came back from Chicago, I know that you know the joy I felt and the connection I felt. What caused it to dwindle? Was it the patterns and the blocks that you spoke about that I naturally fell back into in order to learn to overcome those and what they were?"

 John: "You succumbed to environmental factors which sway your chances. [Unclear] to your chances to concentrate wholly on my intended message to you.  These factors are important, but as we have discussed, they are running themselves off naturally at a steady and quickened pace.  Do not despair for it is the inner workings which are of interest and the outside influences act only as barriers.  I work with these daily for you in love and protection.  Guided are you in the ministry of Michael and that of the Father.  Correction of technique is not required, for your learning facilitates a growth and learning of others."

 I also asked questions about TRing since I had been doing some. At one point during the session, John interrupted contact with Ellen to work with me independently. This was wild, because I would ask a question, and then retrieve the answer from the thought patterns John would insert in my mind.

 I've learned alot about my own consciousness in this process of transmitting TRing. (TR'ing : knowingly speaking a celestials words or thoughts -- or channeling: transformation in focus of what thoughts I identify with) Our mind is split into two systems of thought with which to choose connection. It is a process of gaining identification with the true source of consciousness. That road to the Bestower of consciousness.

 The "angels" can and do input thought patterns in our mind. We all have available to us the mind of our Creator, should we see through the illusion we think is reality and trade our mind for His.  I think ultimately, to channel our Creator is our natural state. For we are truly all one in the Father.  We may not be who our conscious mind believes we are.  Being one with the our Creator is knowingness beyond perception.  The conscious mind is an arena of perception.  We must reach toward superconsciousness.

 The unseen teachers have been called "Cosmic Psychologists" by a doctor of psychology in California who has experienced their presence.  They're masters at not fostering co-dependency.  I've learned that decision-making, and adding to the equation -- based on our intentions -- is a means of ascension throughout the universe. They will not make our decisions for us.  They will, however, enlighten our choices and guide our growth.  All the knowledge that we need is held safely within.  In the stillness we discover the potential that awaits.  There is truly order and personal attention given, should we desire this love.

 Life has become truly "animated" in its outworkings.  Evidence of God's love, and celestial guidance, is manifesting on all levels  and in all contexts.  I had experienced many events in my life for years that I felt was orchestrated and that now makes sense.  It is true, spiritual forces can be measured in our own experience.  I could not begin to list the orchestrations in my life because they have been so frequent that there is not enough room on my hard drive on my computer to contain all of them.  After a while, this "animation" of life presents such beauty and love.  It's as if I'm a child in a toy store.

 Since receiving this wake-up call in my inner-life, I often take time to communicate inside about the events of the day.  To review my reactions to life, especially when that day involved many interactions with other people.  I think how to better facilitate the outworkings of the Father's plan in my life.

 This does not mean that I do not have problems.  It means that I am finding, with at least a measurable degree of success, a functional way of dealing with problems, in sharing them with the Father, and therefore, sharing all of my life with the Father.  At this point, for me, life tends to be learning experiences.  There is definitely more to life than anyone realizes.

 Sometimes, when I've found myself in times of distress, Michael has made his presence known, to comfort me; literally resonating through my body making me feel loved, easing my disarray and calming me.  These experiences, I will never forget.  I had felt this experience to some extent, even before we went to Chicago.  At the time, I did not know of the source.

 I've discovered that what ever way I direct my conciousness, the best is made of it.  Pretend you have Jesus to walk with all the way, every step in life -- consciously.  All I have to do is desire to know the Father's will.  Every serious direction of thought made is orchestrated and animated in life -- as though to let me learn by giving the chance to live the truth I desire -- thereby experiencing truth.  Truth is an experience of the soul.

 I feel I've tapped into the universe by applying meanings and values to my life.  And because of this effort, a variety of rewards in life experience have evolved.  Questions of life bring experiences in life.  Like the UB says, 'reason create's probability which faith may then transform into a moral certainty, even a spiritual experience.'  Truth, beauty, and goodness are, it seems, a constant theme. I'm learning so many things that I had knowledge of in my mind, but had not experienced in my soul until now.

 Stillness or meditation seems to connect me with the energy and love I need to more successfully serve my fellow man as well as sustain my center.  It seems as though my life has been carefully guided, helping me to better understand myself and others through carefully orchestrated studies, prayer, meditation, thought, and experience in relationships -- both human and divine.  I can better love someone and meet their needs when I truly desire to understand them instead of desiring to be understood first. Having contact with these "unseen teachers" has helped to satisfy the personal need to be understood.

 I'm seeing the universe as a vast system of energy, and us humans, being capable of securing and extending it.  Hence the need for prayer and meditation as the only healthy way to secure this energy.  Without that, I've found that most people secure energy from other people they come in contact with, usually someone they control in some way like the book Celestine Prophecy said.  I think that's why alot of relationships end up in power struggles.  If I am centered and keep conscious of this, I can give energy without being controlled or depleting myself of energy.  Then, it seems to flow through.  The Source of this energy is the place to go.

 I think that's one reason why Jesus was always off by himself at night in communion with the Father.  Truly, the Father lives in us, loves us and has a beautiful individually wrapped package plan for each and every one of us.  A personal relationship with the Father, and knowing it's available to everyone.  What a life!

 Well, it's several months later as I add to this paper and I've been lead to read A Course in Miracles.  It had the exact food for thought I needed.  My whole thought system is being re-thought and added to tremendously.  My way of viewing reality is being turned inside out.  The Course utterly nails down understanding of the human condition.  No other thought but love seems worth my attention.  Life just keeps getting better and better.  I'm learning more and more, and I'll probably be continuing this paper in the years to come. It just never stops, and I'm glad.

 I've just returned from Easter Sunday in Norman, OK.  I had the most wonderful personal session with Michael.  He guided me through a healing session of an inner child.  I'm seeing this inner child as the perception/mis-perception of myself, made real in my mind.  A chunk of time in my life, so to speak.  A time in my life that pain was experienced and turned away from. Therefore, a part of my illusion of who I thought I was, on that level, was brought to light and love.  It enabled me to understand the perception, discarding the illusion, and ascending to become real and one with Michael in my healing.  I'm learning that with Michael's help, and stillness, I can learn to bring light and love to these mis-perceptions -- empowering my conciousness to focus on love instead of re-acting to old tapes of denial and pain.  Growth and understanding of myself and others is the result.

 It's May now. I've had many more "Touches of Heaven", so to speak. This particular type of experience has happened probably 12 or 15 times now. It goes something like this. I'll be deep in thought, when life around me starts to interact with my thinking.  People will say things that speak to what I'm thinking, without their knowing it.  I realize as I write this, that it seems so hard to make words live up to the experience, in trying to explain this.

 For example: On a recent road trip, several people were having a conversation while I read silently to myself.  I was working on a problem in my mind, when suddenly the conversation they were having spoke to my mind directly.  The conversation they were having spoke to me on a deep level, directing me and answering my questions.  This conversation addressed what I was thinking and was personal to me.  Without personally experiencing this mind-meld of information and attention given to you, it's hard to explain, because the conversation they were having was completely unrelated to anything intentionally spiritual.  They had no idea this was happening.  I was experiencing the beauty of our connectedness and the orchestration of the celestials as they used my attentiveness to communicate directly to me by way of others who were unsuspecting of anything happening at all. Even though they were speaking of things completely unrelated to what I was thinking, in context, the words being used were seemingly "animated" -- to make perfect sense in my mind concerning the guidance I desired.

 It's now a couple of weeks later as I add to this. I've just read in A COURSE IN MIRACLES, the explanation of this "animated" communication (spoke of in the previous paragraph) I've been experiencing. It has to do with the Holy Spirit's function, which is entirely communication.

 I've also been dealing with alot of emotional strain lately, and now I know why.  I will attempt to explain. The Course says, "Our emphasis has been on bringing what is undesirable to the desirable; what you do not want to what you do. You will realize salvation must come to you this way, if you consider what dissociation is. Dissociation is a distorted process of thinking whereby two systems of belief which cannot coexist are both maintained.  If they are brought together, their joint acceptance becomes impossible.  But if one is kept in darkness from the other, their separation seems to keep them both alive and equal in their reality.  Their joining thus becomes the source of fear, for if they meet, acceptance must be withdrawn from one of them. You cannot have them both, for each denies the other.  Apart, this fact is lost from sight, for each in a separate place can be endowed with firm belief.  Bring them together, and the fact of their complete incompatibility is instantly apparent.  One will go because the other is seen in the same place."

 It's now a month or two later. I'm experiencing a serious shift in my perception of reality. A few days ago, I was awake for about 65 hours straight, and I was not tired. This happened after a substantial change in my life involving a four year relationship with a band.  Michael, along with our celestial friends helped me through it, comforting and guiding me in my thoughts.  I was somewhat disoriented for a couple of days, but as He told me, "You will get through this unharmed."  I was working out of town at the time, so I was away from familiarities and was able to stay focused.  It really put my ideals of accepting this new version of reality on the line, enabling me to experience a deeper taste of the awareness of what is real.

 It's now August '94, a month or so later.  I had found a song in the middle of the night and retrieved my hand held tape recorder to secure the idea on tape so I wouldn't forget it.  In searching for a space on a tape to record, I ran across something I transmitted before going to Naperville.  I vaguely remembered doing it as an experiment in TRing.  The words came slow and precise, and to my surprise with punctuation.  This was fairly early on in my experience with channeling and I obviously didn't believe it because I didn't transcribe it, even though it was addressed specifically to the group. When I ran across this transmission more than a year later it seemed profound, so I typed it up and brought it to the group. After reading it, Jeannie pointed out that it was word for word in lesson #25 from the teachers that she had typed up August 19, 1993. This date was a couple of months after I transmitted it. This blew us away because it was word for word and everyone knows of the chance for error in TRing. When I came home from the meeting that night, I listened to the tape and read along in lesson #25.  It was word for word but the punctuation dictated to me in the transmission was different.  There was one place on the tape where -- when receiving the dictation concerning the position of the quotes I mentioned that it didn't seem to make sense.  Later, when I routinely had my wife check the punctuation, she noticed this particular place of ending the quote and moved the quotation mark to the end of the sentence.  There was hardly any other corrections made.  Well in lesson #25 the ending quotation mark in question was in the middle of the sentence. The same place it was dictated to me.

 I now understand that this whole event was orchestrated to give us assurance that what we were doing was real.


 It has been about 11 months since opening this file. It's two days shy of a week since I hired a hypnotherapist for a session in which he was to read what I would have him read, along with his traditional non-smoking technique of suggestive hypnosis.

 This is what I had him read:
There is no eternal reality other than God, and God indwells your mind, and would have you change your feelings of fear to the convictions of love. You are indeed becoming one with this fragment of pre-personal Deity in this eternal NOW. Who you are comes from God. You are a child of God and God loves you. You have the ability to transcend your own perceptions. You are guided by the Father Himself.
There is no order of difficulty in miracles. You have complete faith in the power that heals all pain ever perceived. You do not wish to retain any aspect of fear & pain from the truth, The Light. You now join with your TRUE SELF, the fragment of God living within you, giving up all previous perceptions, past fears, dark secrets, mis-perceptions of yourself and your fellow man by bringing them to God's Light where you both look upon them as they are gently shined into the nothingness from which they came. God's light NOW shines these dark perceptions away. You will remember only the loving thoughts that God would have you remember. All but loving thoughts are now forgotten, and what remains is eternal. No longer does the past conflict with NOW. This continuity extends the present by increasing it's reality and it's value in your perception of it. You see with God that only love is real. You know now who you are as a part of God and who your brothers and sisters are as a part of God. You see only love in yourself and all others, for nothing else is eternally true. You remain completely assured in the outcome of uncertainty. You are content, loving, and easily responsive to the leadings of the Father and His teachers as there are no distractions. You now have clarity in your communications with God and His teachers. Loving thoughts are now all you identify with or remember because only they are real. You will not attack yourself or any other in any manner. Attack is now seen as a call for love, and appreciation is the only appropriate response. The past is no more and you will not feel or respond to guilt in any way. Who you are comes from God and needs no defense.
The stillness and peace of NOW enfold you in perfect gentleness. Everything is gone except the truth. You are that truth, beyond all perception and interpretation. You now know this. You will always remember this because it is who you are, and this truth will live in your conscious mind. Distraction cannot enter because you live in the mind of God.
All judgment is now replaced with forgiveness. There is now no need for defense. You are whole, complete love. Being love, you have no opposite, for love is all-encompassing.
Your only function is the one God gave you. You want no other and have no other. Your happiness and your function are one. It is your will that God's will be done. You cannot be in conflict because you live in true reality which evokes no conflict at all. You are at peace. Nothing can disturb you. Your will and God's are one. You have forgiven the world. You are God's Son eternally and you are united with your Creator. God's will for you is perfect happiness. amen

 Life continues to become more and more interactive, more and more simple as in the message of love, and harder and harder to find value in anything else. And in the end it's my decision -- to share -- and the consequence God's.


It's now about ten years later.....my wife and I now have a son

I just came back from a TeaM conference at Niagra Fallas NY.  We met at a the Center for Renewal.  Though I haven't added to this paper for a while, I have maintained an ongoing relationship with the Universe at large, enjoyed participating at IC99 (a Urantia Book Conference held at University of British Columbia) and several of TeaM conferences.

I feel renewed in spirit and blown away yet again at the outworking of this most intelligent, mysterious and yet loving and friendly Universe we live in.  The love at that conference so soooo amazing, the connection with others even the more intensely loving.  The synchronisities simply amaze me.

After my son was born I had about three years of what I might call down time.  I became day dad for my son while still maintaining my musical job late night, which left me sleep-deprived and without much meditation for about three years.  Jared is in school full time now, so since the last school year (it's summer now) I've re-enjoyed my morning meditations again as well and have started, for the first time, actually doing the daily lessons in ACIM.  Things are moving at break-neck speed as I now truly inguage lofty goals with my spirit and music at this time in my life.  I want to raise the consciousness of the world with my music.


 I hope you've enjoyed reading this. I enjoyed writing it, and now ten years later I have decided to connect with this again.
click here to continue to today

 The light of God surrounds us. The love of God enfolds us. The power of God supports us. The presence of God lives within us. Wherever we are, He is.



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